this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
