I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
