She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
