it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
