I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
smell my finger.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
