dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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