i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
