Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
