I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
