In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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