I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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