Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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