Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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