Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
