"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
