Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
