Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
