Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
