Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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