He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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