if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
