Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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