If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
