she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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