My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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