whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
