Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
