Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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