just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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