dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, beer. Big fan.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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