would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
