you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
