I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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