My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm at about main and main street
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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