stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
