So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
