I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
