let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Randomize
