my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
