we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
