Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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