I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
