Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
