Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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