Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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