Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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