JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
