I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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