You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
