I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
