I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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